Tuesday, December 19, 2017

The grass is not greener on the other side

Nancy C. Anderson helps readers build hedges
of protection around their marriages

It’s human nature for people to want something bigger and better than what they currently have. When problems arise in a marriage, the grass can look greener in every other yard in the neighborhood, luring them to believe they will find true joy and fulfillment on the other side of the marital fence. In Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage (2nd edition) (Kregel Publications/November 27, 2017/ISBN: 9780825444968/$12.99), Nancy C. Anderson assures readers the greener grass is only a mirage and shares how to grow the greenest grass of all in their own backyard.

Extramarital affairs are not the social taboo they once were and might be more prevalent now than ever thanks to the anonymity of the Internet and ease of connection via smartphones. Living in a culture that pushes the belief that “life is short and you deserve to be happy” doesn’t help. All of these provide fertile ground for the temptation to cheat to grow, and Christians are not exempt from these influences.

After straying to the other side of this marital fence and returning to find forgiveness and restoration, Anderson brings personal experience and an authority to this practical book about predicting and preventing an extramarital affair. “Many marriage books that are based upon theories, statistics, and clinical studies of infidelity,” she explains. “Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome is a book about real life in the real world. I’m an expert on infidelity because I lived it and survived. Thirty-eight years after my affair and reconciliation, Ron and I continue taking what we learned and helping couples prevent, predict, and pardon infidelity.”

Based on the principle that the grass is always greener when it's watered, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome focuses on how to grow an affair-proof marriage by establishing and maintaining six protective hedges around it:

·         Hearing: listening and speaking with patience and understanding.
·         Encouraging: helping each other.
·         Dating: keeping it fresh and fun.
·         Guarding: agreeing on your boundaries and enforcing them.
·         Educating: becoming an expert on your mate.
·         Satisfying: meeting each other’s needs.

Each chapter of this second edition has been revised, and while the hope is to prevent extra-marital affairs, Anderson wrote a new chapter on repairing marriage following infidelity that has already occurred. “I received so many heart-wrenching emails asking for advice on this topic that I was eager to add the chapter on affair repair. I offer seven action words to describe the steps I recommend for all couples who are suffering: reveal, repent, reconcile, rebuild, resolve, renew, and rejoice. Marriage restoration will take some time, so you must be patient with each other. You may even take a few steps forward, then two steps back. Just don’t give up because you could be in the midst of a miracle.”

About the author

Nancy C. Anderson is an award-winning writer who has contributed to thirty books, including six Chicken Soup for the Soul titles. She is also the author of Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage.

Anderson has written many marriage articles for websites such as Crosswalk, CBN, FamilyLife, and GrowthTrac. She has been featured in national media such as The Huffington Post, The 700 Club, WORLD Magazine, Our Daily Bread and FamilyLife Today. Along with her husband, Ron, Anderson hosts the new TV program, Growing Healthy Marriages, on HSBN.tv.  

The Andersons and their son, Nick, live in Orange County, California.

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