I think I hate Arie more tonight on the finale finale of #thebachelor than last night.

I had to moderate an author chat tonight that has been scheduled for months. So, I'm starting The Bachelor exactly 90 minutes late. I turned on the TV just in time to see...

Well, we'll get to that later. I'm hoping there are lots of commercials so that I'm not blogging for two solid hours now that it's getting late.

The thing I just didn't say above? Well, Chris Harrison gave it away 90 seconds in, then tried to cover it. Another wedding proposal. I'll say it since he did. 

We're going to fast forward through last night's recaps. Ain't nobody got time for that. I have some things I need to do after this! I have lots of other things DVRing too.

Afterwards, Arie is playing the poor, poor, pitiful me card. No one understands him. No one knows what he is going through except Jason Mesnick. Jason tells him everyone would hate him.

If Arie could turn back time, he would have been with Lauren. He goes out to Virginia Beach to find her because he wants to marry her. He arrives at her house and has a panic attack.

Before we knock on her door, we have to follow poor Becca up her snow covered stairs because the cameras are there in Minneapolis when she arrives home. Or they staged her dragging her suitcase up the sidewalk. That's probably what happened. I don't know, they are following her everywhere anyway. Poor Becca. She really did love him. She's still in denial though because she can't see Arie and Lauren together. 

Back to Arie's panic attack. Lauren greets him at the door with a giant hug. Arie reveals that he called Lauren, and she knows that he and Becca broke up. Lauren says she was angry at first thinking he just needed closure.

I bet they were talking on the phone the whole time. 

Lauren tells him it was really hard because she couldn't talk to anyone, especially anyone that understood. She came back to her family for a while. After crying a bit while saying all this, she's about to break into smiles.

When quizzed about if he was sure in the moment on the day of proposal, Arie says he was making the safe choice. He claims to have really tried with her. Because Becca knew he was struggling, he asked for permission to call Lauren for closure. When he heard Lauren's voice, he was in trouble. Yet, now he is confident that he is 100% over Becca.

I hate Arie more now than last night.

Lauren always hoped this would happen... He wants her back. Passionate kiss. She throws in she wants and engagement soon.


Yeah, they've been talking a while because none of this is believable.

Chris Harrison joins some of the women from the season. Baby Bekah is basically wearing a bra with a sheer shirt over it. She looks ridiculous. The women love Lauren, but are all aggravated at what a jerk Arie is. 

Caroline (who is only there because she is outspoken, not because anyone remembers her) thinks we needed to see the break-up for some reason. Kendall was glad to see it because it showed how strong Becca was. Sienne thinks we should have seen that Arie had already talked to Lauren before he broke up with Becca.

Tia was with Lauren on NYE when Arie reached out to her. Supposedly it was via social media like the day before the premiere.

Kendall wants it to work out for them, but Baby Bekah thinks Lauren needs to run. They all hope Becca gets another shot. Tia says Becca is hoping Lauren is guarding her heart too so she won't be hurt.

Baby Bekah (why didn't I think of that nickname sooner?) makes the point that Lauren isn't seeing what was going on with Becca and what a jerk Arie was to her when she agrees to give him another chance.

After a commercial break, Chris Harrison welcomes Becca. 

Becca states the obvious, that it was hard to watch back what happened with her and when Arie is talking to Lauren about wanting to get back with her. They talk about when she found out about his conflicted feelings. She knew before they left Peru that he had told both of them that he loved them. She found out about a week before the break-up that Arie had reached out to Lauren. Watching this all now, and seeing where his heart lies, has brought some closure. No one wants to be with someone who feels trapped.

Becca now gets her chance to see Arie and ask some questions.

This is the first time they have seen each other since their break-up. She's ready to get it over with and move on. She reluctantly hugs him.

Question #1: When did you know you wanted to break-up with me and reunite with Lauren?

Answer: After I talked to Lauren. Once I knew there was a chance.

Question #2: When talking with her and having that conversation... we talked about you doing it beforehand, but then why did you hide it so long afterwards?

Answer: You were working, and we were apart. I needed that time to process it.

Question #3: She has trouble getting the question out. Why weren't you honest... when you knew it wasn't going to work with me at all.

Answer: You go through this intense break-up and then a proposal. It's not normal...

Basically it all boils down to this:

I was really into Lauren. I missed her, but I felt guilty. I wanted to try to work it out with her, but I didn't want to tell you that until I knew for sure that she would take me back. Once I knew that I could get what I really wanted, I decided to call it off with you. 

Chris asks him if he has any regrets or anything he wants to get off his chest. His regret is proposing to her that day. It was the pressure, but it was his choice and his fault.

Becca wishes he had thought through it more because she'll never get a "first proposal/first engagement" ever again. In other words, she only wanted to have that experience once. Arie agrees and apologizes.

If anyone knows how this feels, it's Jason and Molly Mesnick. So, we get to hear from them. Molly says Arie should have called them first. Jason would have suggested that he did it privately. Jason did it publicly which wasn't a good choice. 

Arie is back. He and Lauren didn't watch last night's episode, but did see some of what was said on social media. They bring out Lauren. She's ready to do normal couple things. She's as articulate as ever.

Chris recaps that she left Peru with a broken heart around Thanksgiving. Because Arie could not get her phone number through production, Arie reached out to Lauren via Instagram on New Year's Eve. She wanted to make sure Becca knew they were in touch. They exchanged updates on how they were both struggling. Now that they are together, their love is stronger than ever.

The next stupid question from Chris is, "Everyone hates Arie now. What do you love about him?" Something about bravery. Then Lauren is asked, "Do you trust this man." "With all my heart."

Arie claims he took a risk that was worth it because he thought of Lauren day and night. There was guilt about that, but all that matters is that they love each other.

Chris Harrison is having to stretch this to make it two hours worth of show. It's getting uber boring again. "It was worth it to do this show again after five years..."

Arie then pulls Lauren around the stage, does the big speech before getting down on one knee and proposing to her, "Like I should have a long time ago." Baby Bekah's expression in the crowd is priceless.

Lauren's family is in the crowd. Chris Harrison claims he didn't see it coming. Lie. Obviously. He slipped at the first of the show. Everyone knew it. No one was surprised.

Speaking of no surprise, it's time to announce the next Bachelorette. Becca is jumping right back into the fire. The crowd in the studio erupts in cheers. 

Chris claims it was an easy choice to invite her back. She said it was an easy choice for her to accept. She's ready to find love, the man of her dreams, the one for her.

All the women from the season join her on stage. It's a love fest which is kind of ironic given how they usually get back stabby during the season.

Let me just say that Baby Bekah's dress is so bizarre and Tia's butt is about hanging out of her outfit as she sits on the couch.

Chris rolls in a fake set with a mansion backdrop so Becca can meet a few of the men right here, right now.

First up, a man with a bow tie and an accent. It's Lincoln (like the President). A charming black man who says it's his birthday. He says he is blushing, but you can't tell for obvious reasons. He's taking up all the time we might have had to meet other men by nervously chatting.

Next is Chase. His big hair on top is going to get on my nerves. They are all going to point out how she deserves better than Arie.

Ryan serenades her with the banjo. He too wears a bow tie. That's two strikes in my book.

Darius apologizes on behalf of all men for what happened to her. He's gushing about her.

A man with a horse coming through the audience is next up. This is Blake and his horse Bradley. "When you fall off the horse, you have to get back on." This is his Schtick. He wants to help her get back on the horse. She has to get up side saddle because she's in a dress with quite the slit.

And so ends another season of The Bachelor.