Trust me... opposites don't attract

I'm not going to start a series of posts on the number of reasons why I am, and barring a miracle, will always be single. There's no point in discussing why I am like citronella to mosquitoes when it comes to guys. I know this. I accept this. 

Still, I do have a profile on two singles sites. I've always been at the free level on one of them, and on the other, I've had a paid membership a few times. What this currently means is that I cannot communicate back with anyone who emails me (or read the emails for that matter). However, I can view the people that look at my profile. 

Previously, the only guys who emailed me were either mentally not all there, mentally not all there with a booger hanging out of their nose when they took their own picture because I told them I wasn't talking to them until they at least put some info and pic up on their profile (fair is fair), or a foreign national living in another country (think along the lines of my sick aunt Tulu needs an operation). On one of the sites, creepy old guys like to look at my profile. 

Call me picky, but if a guy were to show any interest, I would hope he would be stateside, able to hold a semi-intelligent conversation and within my age range. 

By some strange coincidence, within 48 hours, I received two emails from men on the site I've never paid a membership on. And I'm not willing to shell out money for that site because it's fairly expensive and based on who has looked at my profile, I don't hold out much hope of anything changing if I did. 

Here's information from the profile of the first one that emailed me with the subject line "WOW". And do know that I am taking one for the team in posting this because now the guy is going to think I'm interested because I've looked at HIS profile again.

His introduction:

Someone who can presew the christion life and the grate comision with me

Q: What I'd like to do on a first date...
A: Maby take my jet skis to the lake I got 4 of em halfto use them sometime
Q: My past relationships have taught me...
A: To truly appreciate time together
Q: To me, being a Christian means...
A: Following God 
Living the best you can through the holy spirit that resides I'n all of us and fofiling the grate commission
Q: I've been a Christian for ...
A: Well honestly we have all had our wilderness experiences mine are long gone and I am no longer having the milk but the meat of the word 
I am the guy ya see I'n front of wal mart handing out tracts and praying with ppl
Q: In five years, I see myself
A: Having a congregation of whatever God let's me preach to
Q: My favorite Bible passage is...
A: Wow
That's a hard one there are so many
Q: One final thing I'd like to mention...
A: I maneg a m mil co so God has raveald to me I am to keep my job until
Question of the Week
Q:What was the last book you read? Would you recommend it?
A:The bibleI would recommend it to everyoneI don't wast my time on other books currently

I understand many people cannot spell or write these days because of an education system that focuses on phonics when the English language is not all about phonics. However, I work within the publishing industry and work with authors and writers all day long. I write, edit, and proof. I cannot handle this. It makes my skin crawl.

I commend him for his passion for sharing the Gospel. That's great. I should do better of fulfilling the Great Commission. I just can't really folil the grate one. And whatever could the congregation be of if not human?

Personally, I consider going out to Walmart against my religion, but in all seriousness, bless him for it.

Oh. I didn't think he had a picture posted because a profile picture doesn't show up, but while clicking through his profile for content, I just found a picture of him and his little boy (once you reach a certain point, they've all been married and have children or there's some OFF reasons why they haven't been - pun intended). Not exactly what I expected. He's presentable. 

The other person who sent me an email this week is a 59 year old retired man. I didn't click further to find anything else out. By his picture, I see he is of another race. That's really all I know other than he rides motorcycles according to the one line you can read without clicking. I just don't want a man that much older, so I refuse to click further. 

Now, my real problem is, whatever should I do with The Firm not being renewed. This means I don't get to pine over Josh Lucas anymore on Saturday nights.

That shall be part of tomorrow's blog.

Oh, and I finally caught up on NCIS. I'm quite irked there too. :(


Katie Hart said…
I almost could have written this post. I've also had a profile on two singles sites, one that I had a deeply discounted paid membership for 7 months (until I realized it was a ghost town), and one that is free.

I can't stand when guys don't have a basic understanding of the English language. A few typos are fine, or a persistent misspelling (were when you mean where, for example), but if I get the urge to send the guy a proofread profile/message, it doesn't bode well for him.

And while I have occasionally come across a few decent guys (out of hundreds or it may be up to thousands of profiles), the even fewer of them who were willing to talk to me ended up wanting to be just friends. (To be fair, the latest one, the only one I've met in person, it was a mutual "just friends" decision.)

I'd go on further, but I might start ranting. :)

And yes, I, too, am upset about the mean cliffhanger with which this season of NCIS ended.
Audra Jennings said…
I'm the queen of ranting. Always feel free to rant away here!
Parkerchica said…
Please pardon me for laughing out loud. I'm sorry the dating world is so harsh, friend. It's great that you can see the comedy there.
Audra Jennings said…
You are always free to laugh out loud at anything I post, Misha. In fact, I hope everyone gets a good laugh. :)