Sunday, February 19, 2012

Adventures from the church parking lot

I find that some of the most interesting conversations that I have occur in the church parking lot. Maybe it's where the best gossip is told. Maybe it's the people I'm talking to. Maybe it's just coincidence.

I'll use the "blog names" of the people involved, not because I'm protecting any identities, but because you'll recognize them from the Timmy the Fly stories.

After church, I was talking to Rebekah (which is really hilarious that I call her this - at least in my mind - because she has a sister named this and it kind of annoys her to be called her sister's name in the "call me every child in the family roll call" and her name is Biblical anyway). When we walked out, we were talking to Esther and her mother Leah. I don't remember exactly what we were talking about that got to this, but Leah asks if I ever worked for the Rangers because she thought I had. I only wish. My dream job would be in the PR/media offices of the Texas Rangers. (I'll tag them with a label in case they have someone that looks at everything being said about them, and want to hire me.)

I made the comment that I could get a job selling nachos, but didn't want to climb the third deck selling peanuts. Rebekah comments that she always thinks the beer vendors are going to fall down up there hauling their tubs around.

Yes, we could have been talking peanuts, Coke, water, Lemon Chills, or ice cream, but beer vendors were picked out.

Leah says, "it's just drunk firemen that fall."

"And they train in safety," Esther adds with a laugh.

Now, I got after them for being tacky as we all admit that it was never said that the guy that fell out of the stands had been drinking.

I conceded, "it's a good possibility. After all, 90% of all men who are at the ballpark have been drinking."

At this point, the preacher walks up. We were standing by his van, after all.

"90%? That sounds like an awfully high percentage," he comments. He admits to only going to two Ranger games in his life, so I think this makes all of the rest of us experts in comparison.

So there, on the church parking lot, we're talking about how much money is spent in beer sales, how many each man normally drinks, the concept of a season beer pass and micro-chipping to keep track of your annual pass (which you have to be drunk and stupid to submit to). None of us drink, and Leah really wondered why the four of us women really were such experts in all this and discussing it anyway.

Add to the fact that two elders passed by where we were talking during this conversation.

I asked one of the elder's wives if she ever found out if her son had a secret girlfriend as the subject did change to less controversial subjects once they walked up. Her son Rueben is in the Army Special Forces. She said, "The divorce rate for special forces is like 90%."

"Watch out - don't claim 90% of anything with Samson around. He'll refute you," I warned.

After our discussion came to a close, and we all went our own ways, but Rebekah and an interesting Fly update. This was also in regards to the new singles ministry.

Although 90% of the time people involved may perceive it that way, a singles ministry is not all about the love connection. Jacob, the deacon in charge, is not the deacon of match making. The Fly needs to recognize that right off. (Side note: He's all in an uproar that no one wants to date him, so he won't likely show up to any activities. Of course, he also doesn't remember asking anyone out, so I don't know how he remembers no one wants to go out with him.)

Here's another interesting stat for you. 90% of these conversations happen on Sunday nights with the other 10% coming on Wednesdays.

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